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Well it's N day here at Wildpokerman so I thought I'd speak a little about a skill that I've been working on and studying. I'...
Wednesday, May 13, 2009
Scream Free Parenting (it's not just for women anymore).
Well it often works just that way. Scream free parenting takes you through a process of seeing parenting different from the stressful way that many of us see it and helps you to relax a bit and enjoy it.
It starts out with the premise that you aren't responsible for everything your children do. They actually have their own personalities and preferences and not all of them are your fault. I guess in a metaphysical way they are but I guess you can blame your parents for the awful genes they passed on to you.
So that was very helpful, immediately after seeing things that way I calmed down quite a bit. No I'm still not perfect, the kids still have to touch everything in Home Goods which makes me panic about what I'm going to do if they break the $200 lamp but when they're not around anything breakable I'm much more tolerant than I was.
Secondly the book talks to you about how everyone needs space starting with your children. They need privacy and a place to keep their things and they tend to function much better if you're not breathing down their neck making sure they behave all day. I've been trying this and they're actually behaving much better at home.
Lastly the book tells you that you need to take care of yourself because your kids depend on you. Would you let them stay up all night drinking coffee and playing video games when they have to be up at 6 AM? No you wouldn't because it's bad for you and it's stupid. So maybe you should love yourself enough to treat yourself right because a tired, unhealthy, irritable parent is as useless at work and home as a tired unhealthy irritable child would be in school.
So now I'm in touch with my feelings and things are working better and I'm much less stressed out. Thanks a lot psychology, I guess I'll turn in my man card at the door.